Im here sick, and highly medicated might I add. I havent done a thing close to being constructive today. Actualy to tell you the honest to god truth all iv'e been on the internet all day, looking for MP3's and reading into the lives of others journalers. Nosy, nosy, nosy girl. I'm a dork, a geek, and introvert so sue me. Not really, i wish I were.

I wish I were an introvert, I'm tired of people, but then again I strive for attention. Smooth talk is easy for me, spoken words come easy to me. That's strange how I'm tired of people but need to be around them. Or atleast that's what I think to be true. I guess I like to be center of attention or somthing like that. That's most likley why I love theater so much. I was basicly pushed all my life even as a small child to be on stage, beauty pagents, communty theater, the school play. Then I just grew to like it, have liked it and like it now.

I've established I will always like theater. Theater is my thing, acting as if I was somthing im not, is my thing.

I've always wondered why not everyone enjoys theater; musicals, choir concerts, plays, readers theaters. It's cool, very cool. Alot of people don't see it for what it is, theater is an experince. It's a thrill, it makes me happy, i love it. I'll see anything preformed in a theater, I dont know, I guess im a dork. Maybe im cultured, maybe I'm just a dork, maybe im a cultured dork, maybe im not cultured at all. Maybe im living the life that my mom never lived. Let's hope the mom part is not the answer. That would suck, big time.

Doing what my mom wished she could do when she was young, scarry, huh? To me it is, that means im turing into my mom. The bitch she is, I hope my kids arent fucked up. The future might as well be doomed for corruption.

Did you hear about the terroist that want to cause Y2K 'problems' like blowing up some water aquaduct here in california? Scarry huh, the world is indeed a fucked up place.